Ebook Volume 49 Humour that Cheers You Up




It was a dramatic meeting in the jungles of Sarawak. The trails had crossed and two American explorers, with their parties, practically collided.
As they sat around the campfire that evening, one of the explorers explained his reason for being there.
“The urge to travel,” he said poetically, “has always surged through my veins. I’m the kind of a fellow who wants to see what’s on the other side of the hill. City life nauseates me. The sounds, the filth, the man-made monsters ─ they’re not for me. I seek the companionship of nature ─ the flutter of the birds, the adorable animals, the beauty of the foliage. Ah, enough about me. Why did you come?”
The second explorer replied, “Creditors.”

How far and how long can one run away from troubles? Even the fastest runner will one day run into the hands of the law.

Lion: Mr Mouse, I’m getting married. What is the best piece of advice you can give me?
Mouse: Just remember this; I was a lion before I got married.

A certain degree of discernment is needed to sort out advices which are prudent from those which are misguided.

Henry was living and working abroad for a year but one day he decided to return home to visit his parents.
After talking to his mother for a while, he became thirsty and went to the fridge to get a drink. When he opened the fridge, he saw the sexy and beautiful photograph of a beautiful young woman.
Henry curiously asked, “Mum, why did you put the photo in there for?”
She replied, “Oh, I put it there to remind me not to eat too much so that I can maintain the same figure as the lady in the photograph did.”
Henry then asked, “So, is it working?”
“Yes and no,” she replied. “I’ve lost 5 kilos but your father has gained 20 kilos!”

Without discipline, determination and self-control, even the best conceived diet plan will fail.

Fat Lady: Porter, please call me a taxi.
Porter: Okay, you’re a taxi. But to tell you the truth, you look more like a truck.

Unkind and unsolicited remarks from a stranger may spark off the biggest fight.