Peril
The Italian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have wine.”
The Mexican says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have tequila.”
The Scot says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have Scotch.”
The Swede says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit.”
The Japanese says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have sake.”
The Russian says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have vodka.”
The German says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”
The Greek says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo.”
The Singaporean says, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”

If only token efforts are made to detect a deadly disease at an early stage, it will be to one’s peril.

Popularity
A card appeared on the front window of a house on our block: PIANO FOR SALE
Next day, a card appeared in the window next door: HURRAH!

The state of our popularity is doomed if our absence is being rejoiced about and our presence, mourned.

Reaction
Don’t get annoyed if your neighbour plays his stereo at two o’clock in the morning. Call him at four, and tell him how much you enjoyed it.

If you aren’t tough enough to handle a slap, then don’t ever stick your tongue out mischievously at others.

Welfare
America is the only country in the world where the government argues over the size of the colour TV set that a welfare family should get.
It is the only country in the world where people going to get their unemployment cheque have a parking problem.

Extending welfare benefits to undeserving people will destroy their will to provide for themselves and bankrupt the resources of a nation.