Ebook Volume 37 Humour about the Lessons of Life
“Why doesn’t your wife sing to the baby when he cries?” asked a friend.
“Yes! She used to,” said her husband, “but the people in the flat above sent their maid down to tell us that they preferred to hear the baby cry.”
When the tough truth dawns, the only wise way out is to accept it graciously instead of resisting it vehemently.
Hopeful Wife: Darling, what do you suggest I wear when I audition for a part in the musical?
Critical Husband: A bullet-proof vest.
When our own spouse places no confidence or hope in our abilities, the battle is almost lost.
One day, when a big sale was offered at a shopping outfit, a dignified middle-aged gentleman decided to take advantage of it. But he soon found himself being squeezed and pushed by frantic women. He stood it as long as he could. Then with head lowered and arms waving, he ploughed through the crowd.
“You, there!” challenged a sharp voice of a fierce lady. “Can’t you act like a gentleman?”
“No way,” he replied, still charging forward, “I’ve been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I’m going to act like a lady.”
Knock down prices are too good a deal to miss. However, the shoving and the pushing to get to the first on the queue heighten man’s selfishness and lower his dignity.
Jerry: My wife spends all her time at the shopping mall.
Pete: My wife spends all her time watching TV.
Jerry: That saves you a lot of money, doesn’t it?
Pete: That’s what you think. All she watches is the Home Shopping Channel!
The spending culture of lavishness should be curbed while the saving culture of thriftiness should be encouraged.
“Did my singing disturb you yesterday?” said the musical young woman.
“Were you singing?” asked the impolite next-door neighbour. “I believe it was your voice I heard; but I thought you had seen a mouse.”
It is cruel to increase the agony of an unfavourable appraisal by rubbing it in with sarcasm.