Ebook Volume 23 Bite-Sized Humour for Busy People
Bite-Sized Humour for Busy People
A woman is a creature that’s expensive when picked up, but explosive when dropped.
The sort of woman who can make a fool of a man can also make a man out of a fool.
A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far. (Fannie Hurst)
Said an American: “Please notice that the word ‘American’ ends with ‘I can’.”
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in one language is priceless.
No man knows what absent-mindedness really is until he finds himself pressing his own telephone number.
The trouble with absent-minded professors is that they are never absent-minded enough to forget to flunk a student.
A professor once spent some time figuring out why professors are absent-minded. He forgot the answer.
Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. (Beth McCollister)
Sample Jokes found in the Book…
They say that man is worth more today than ever before. He should be. The cost of the chemicals in his body has gone up.
A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but a bird in the cage is less messy.
Women are the kind of problem most men like to wrestle with.
All things come to those who wait….wrinkles, for instance.
Did you hear about the writer who dropped eleven stories in a waste-basket and lived?
When I finished my speech, they sat open-mouthed. I never saw so many people yawning at the same time.
A yes-man is a somebody who remains a nobody because he tries to please everybody.
A zoo is a place where parents take their little monsters to see big monsters.