Ebook Volume 01 Heavenly Humour


Sample Jokes found in the Book…

Two zebras stand outside in the rain while Noah moves the animals aboard. One zebra says, “Uncle Noah, this is not fair! Why must you always do it alphabetically?”

I love that carol ‘What Child Is This?’ Sounds like parents sorting kids after a Christmas party. (Robert Orben)

He’s such a lazy guy that his prayers are printed and pasted on the wall. At bedtime, he points to them and says, “Lord, please read them.”

In biblical times, a lion has just arrived at the Colosseum. A veteran lion tells him, “You won’t like it here. It’s the same old lousy food. All they give you to eat are Christians.”

A Prison chaplain was bidding farewell to a prisoner who had served his term and was about to be released. The chaplain said with a fatherly tone, “As you step out to freedom, son, remember the sermons you heard while you were here.” Replied the prisoner, “Chaplain, no one who’s heard you preach would ever want to come back here.”

Someone asked Joseph of Arimathea, “That was a great tomb. Why did you give it to someone else to be buried in?” “Oh,” said Joseph, “He only needed it for the weekend.”

The great task of the Church is not only to get sinners into heaven, but also to get the saints out of bed. (A. L. Todd)